Born to Puerto Rican parents in the south side of Brooklyn NY, I am one of seven children, six boys and one girl. Although we are one, mighty handsome family (excuse my modesty), I was different than my siblings for I was born with a clef-and-lip palate defect.

A clef-and-lip palate birth defect leaves a newborn without a clef (the indentation between the nose and the upper lip) and without a palate (the “roof” in the mouth). In the span of thirteen years, beginning at two months of age, I had undergone a series of surgeries that had left me physically and emotionally drained. Suffice to say, kids, teenagers and even some adults can be pretty cruel to someone who looked different. On top of all this, I had to wear braces; ergo, any social life outside my room was but a dream.

Life Changing Event Number One

It is because of the difficult times I went through emotionally that I remember and appreciate my parents so much. They were my life-changing event, number one. Mom and dad worked two jobs each and yet my mother was at school for each of our lunch hours and my dad would attempt to teach us “manly” stuff like changing oil in sub-degree temperatures. Honestly, I could have done without some of it, and to this day I still stand by my credo, “that’s why there are mechanics in the world, Dad.” Most of it, however, was useful and in their continuing education of their children, we learned certain necessities in life, like how to cook, do the laundry, iron, sew, and hem. You name it, the Ramos’s can do it. My parents taught us how to be independent and have the skills to be on our own. Throughout my life, it is their sacrifice and love that I remember and I try to carry that over to my family; furthermore, had it not been for their guidance, wisdom and love, I wouldn't have had the ability to withstand the cruelties of people’s ignorance to my birth defect.

Life Changing Event Number Two

My teen years were filled with the struggle of dealing with peer pressure and martial arts were my escape; life-changing event number two. My love for martial arts began with watching the old Japanese samurai movies at the ripe old age of five and exploded with a then-unknown actor playing Kato in the old “Green Hornet” television series; his name was Bruce Lee. It was the only time in my life I ever put up posters in my room. I taught myself his style, Jeet-Kune Do, and combined it with what I knew of ninja and the samurai fighting styles; it was at this point that I met Jerry Sica. Mr. Sica was my dad’s boss for as long as I can remember, and he noticed my love for martial arts. He asked my father to bring me over to his place that night, and as Humphrey Bogart said to the lieutenant, that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Sensei Sica, as I call him even today, was a third degree black belt in Tae-Kwon Do (Korean martial arts style) and he ran a dojo with two other amazing senseis, Sensei Kike and Sensei Matt. These three Senseis would prepare me for the major events in my life that were still to come. Sensei Sica would teach me humility; Sensei Kike taught me patience, and Sensei Matt, courage. After many years of martial arts, I learned that nothing is as important as having balance in life.

At the age of 18, I had my sights set on college- but after only a short stint- my parents needed help financially. I did what I thought was best: I joined the few, the proud, The Marines! The Corps lasted eight long years, and although it is not what made me who I am today, it was an experience that allowed me to hone the skills instilled in me by my senseis.

Life Changing Event Number Three

My last life-changing event was the birth of my childred: my son, Jared-Ryan and my daughter, Parker-Reese. It wasn’t until their births that I truly understood what my parents went through in terms of why they worked so hard and why they pushed us harder. Jared is my comedian, he sees humor in everything and I love that about him. I hope he keeps that because he is going to need it in life. Parker is my investigator and she sheds light on my daily grind called life. I would stare at my children while they sleep (I still do) and I ask myself, will I be able to raise them even remotely as well as my parents raised the seven of us? Will I be able to be at their school for lunch, be there when someone calls them names or bully them? How good of a father will I be? I don’t have an answer but I know that I will always be there for them.

As I write this, my father is being transferred to Shands Hospital at University of Florida in Gainesville. I am in the midst of another life-changing event; my father’s heart has had enough of the hard life and is too weak to even hold him up. He is as strong as an ox and I know he can survive a heart transplant, but I think of every moment in my life and see him and my mother there, from the good, the bad, to the very ugly and the sad. I reminisce my younger days and I see my Dad and my Mom always there that the possibility to envision him not there anymore is hard to imagine- I realize that’s not a bad thing. It shows that he will leave behind great memories that can never be forgotten, and I can only hope that I can do the same for my children.

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