3. For your next blog, select a well-developed paragraph on our wiki that particularly interested you, puzzled you, or otherwise held your attention. Using Waddell's Prose Mechanics, The Elements of Style, McCloud or any of the resources here or elsewhere on this wiki, revise this paragraph and make it "better."

Doug's Original:
On September 1st, we added a new program, “The Neil Boortz Show” to our lineup. In addition, we are the affiliate for Florida State football and the NFL game of the week radio broadcasts. All of these programs are fed by satellite. For the past two seasons, we have carried NFL games sent to us by a syndicator called SportsUSA Radio. Since our station is run primarily by computer program for these syndicated shows, all we needed to do was to schedule the automated log used previously and the games would air as before. Unfortunately it wasn’t as easy as that. What we discovered was that the network had changed their tone signaling system which our receiver wasn’t recognizing. We could get the program, but our receiver wouldn’t fire the automation program to put it on the air.
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My Revision:
September 1st of this year a new program called, “The Neil Boortz Show” was added to our lineup. In addition, we are also the affiliates for the Florida State football team and the NFL game of the week radio broadcasts. These programs are fed to us by satellite. For the past two seasons, NFL games have been sent to us by a syndicator called SportsUSA Radio. Our station is run primarily by a computer program for these syndicated shows so all we need to do is schedule the automated log used previously and the games will air as before. Unfortunately it has not been that easy. We discovered that the network has changed their tone signaling system and our receiver was not recognizing it. We recieved the program, but our receiver could not fire the automation program to put it on air.

This was a great story...it really put me in the place and mood you were in at the time of this narrative. Very good descriptions of a topic many people do not know about. -Amy

AmyGraves


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